Wedding favors, are you doing your guest a favor?

All you have to do is clean-up duties for a few weddings and you will see that there are favors left behind on the tables or left in what might have seemed like an ideal place for everyone to know that these were for guests to take home.  If someone has put a lot of time into them, they will think of all the hours that have kind of gone down the tube! There's always ribbon that is abandoned that was wrapped around a box or some object with or without a personalized message on it.  Also if favors are too much geared to female guests or male guests, a good number of favors will be left behind.

What favors seem to be used or make it home with their guests?  I would say that in general they would fall into these categories.

1.  Something with a little bit of practicality.
2.  Food, if you have something that is prepared to avoid common food allergies and is so noted.
3.  Something that has universal appeal.  Take into account age and gender of your guests.
4.  An object that has the bride and groom pictured in it.  Perhaps they can use the frame for something else later.

Don't count on personalized napkins to be a favor!  Who wants to take home a dirty napkin? No one that I know of!  I'm not saying don't use personalized napkins.  I think they add a nice touch.  It might help people remember your anniversary date if nothing else!

If you have a centerpiece that is a live fish that someone will win at a particular table, that can get interesting.  It's good if you're certain that one out of every 8 guests seated at a table is really going to want to go home with a fish.  Please remember that if you do this, that you provide food and instructions on how to take care of the fish.  If someone doesn't win the fish you want to still make sure that they have something to enjoy as a favor to take home.  There are many creative ways to determine who wins the fish!  It's also okay if someone doesn't want that little fishy and hands it off to someone who does.

Some people set up a candy buffet with containers for people to fill with candy and take home as a favor.  I would suggest that you have some that are set up for diabetics!  This will make them feel like they have taken into consideration rather than just another painful reminder that they can't enjoy candy or sweets anymore.

Contributed by Puget Sound Wedding Professional Janis Flagg of Greatest of Days, event planning and design.

Why Choose a Professional Wedding Photographer

Not quite ten years ago my wedding photographer, a budding amateur, charged me for cost of film, processing and $200.00 for his time. He showed up without a flash, so most of the photos wound up being underexposed or grainy. Fortunately, he was Nikon based so I lent him my flash. He got some passable candid shots of people talking or hanging-out but no keepers of group shots of the family. Most of the relatives were 200 lbs. and beyond and didn’t appreciate seeing photos of them shoveling food down their nostrils or bellies protruding through a misfit wedding garment or rented tux. Nothing ever became of the photos. To this day they’re in a lost drawer collecting dust.

Did he have wedding photography experience? Yes, he had helped a couple of times and had a dynamite portfolio. A caterer had highly recommended him. Later, I visited the caterer’s home she had walls of his landscape work. Being an accomplished landscape photographer he had little experience with people or wedding photography. He even showed up in blue jeans. He worked as an assistant on a couple of jobs and just clicked the shutter while the contracted photographer posed and coordinated the shots. He had no real-time under pressure to perform wedding experience. He kept interrupting asking what shots I wanted next even though I had faxed a shot list a week earlier.

Ten years later the wife still reminds me that we should’ve hired a pro.

Pushing my personal experience aside, in 2010 the economy was depressed so many brides sought less expensive alternatives to professional wedding coverage. In the following three scenarios the client decided to either entrust the talents of a close friend or budding amateur.

Scenario #1. Dark-skinned Afro-American bride with fair-skinned groom.

Apparently our extremely young sleepy-headed groom showed up with problems. In the photos, his shirt wasn’t tucked in, clothing was badly wrinkled and hair was uncombed.

The groom’s images were properly exposed but his poor bride appeared darker than life. Apparently, the photographer had limited knowledge of flash photography and relied on the camera’s automatic settings thus underexposing the darker skinned bride. According to Mom, this was the photographer’s first attempt at photographing interracial couples.

Attempts to forewarn the bride’s mother proved fruitless. The bride claimed that her best friend had been dreaming of this experience day and night and she didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Nine months later, wedding images surfaced via Facebook. Mom was furious, the bride reportedly still cries whenever the topic arises and now she’s angry with her best friend forever.

Scenario #2. Outdoor ceremony in bright sunlight.

Bride #2 later admitted that she based her hiring decision on budget and on the photographer’s outdoor photojournalistic portfolio. The wedding took place outdoors at a local marina under intense bright sunlight. The bride figured what could go wrong… all the light is provided and the photographer claimed to be a natural light candid type photographer. Well, the bride didn’t factor in the photographers inexperience in dealing with bright overhead contrast producing light. Eye sockets were shadowed while faces were full of bright spots or specular highlights. Ornate details in her deceased mother’s refitted wedding dress were blown out or lacking. The photographer compensated by unsuccessfully using Photoshop filters on each image. The bride, a Photoshop guru, spent hours doctoring the images but was only able to rescue a few.

How could these problems have been prevented? Simply avoiding the bright sunlight would’ve been a bright alternative and using an off camera flash to balance a contrasting situation or maybe a combination of the both.

Scenario #3. A medium skinned Afro-American couple in white wedding garments.

They decided on a church friend “an up and coming photographer” who was good with a camera. The ceremony was an indoor church wedding. The photographer used a flash; but often, and more toward the end, the flash failed to fire. In the excitement he failed to notice that the flash wasn’t operating properly. The batteries were probably too exhausted to fire at the end so we ended up with dark shinned people in a dark church grossly underexposed.  The photos showed a bunch of flatfooted, slouching, overweight, eyes closed people in basically uncomplimentary poses.

The bride printed some pictures at Wal-Mart but the contrast and colors were off. The faces turned out too dark so the photos were unusable. After fussing at the technician, Wal-Mart gladly refunded her money. The bride requested that I work with her to develop a professional album or adjust the digital files. I agreed to point her in the right direction; however, upon closer inspection, I noted black spots on the digital files in the same location on each image. The photographer had dust on his camera’s sensor which now has to be removed manually on each digital file.

On a minor note… most professional labs offer free color correction on prints. The MART type labs only offer as is type printing.

Summary

When all is said and done, the only tangible memories left are the photographs. Correcting another photographer’s mistakes is time-consuming and usually cost the bride lots of money so many pros seldom contract to do after-the-fact cleanup. Here we are in 2011 and these brides are still crying their eyes out because they got a second rate record of a once in a life time event. Take good advice, if you want to minimize post-wedding horror stories, contract with a pro. Your firstborn and unborn bloodline will hold you in high regard forever.

Contributed by Puget Sound Wedding Professional member John of Pendleton Imaging & Photography.  They can also be found on Facebook.

The Bride-Zilla's List of How to Really Annoy your Wedding Florist*

From the beginning to the end, these are sure-fire, tested techniques you can use to compromise the patience, flexibility and sanity of your wedding florist.  Use these techniques with caution.  You don't really want to cause her any irreparable harm -- or do you?

1). Make an appointment and not show up. Assume that if you texted her alone, or e-mailed her alone, she got your cancellation message.  You will have wasted hours of her time, and caused her undue worry and frustration, while she waited for an actual phone call.  And you can blame her for not being a good communicator because she didn't see your text or e-mail.

2).  Reschedule and then cancel again at the last minute.  Insist on another appointment.  This will cause her to want to call her therapist.

3). Have no idea of what you want or even like for flowers. And when she shows you a lot of beautiful and creative options, act passive and emotionless.  She'll wonder why you even came to see her, and how you managed to get engaged.

4). Be completely stuck on hard-to-get, out-of-season, very expensive flowers, because you saw them in a magazine and they're pretty.  She will suggest other options.  Accuse her of being closed to new ideas -- after all, the magazines are always "on trend," and she just "ties flowers together with a ribbon."  What does she know, really?  She will try hard not to be flustered by your lack of regard for her experience.

5). Don't bring any color swatches, pictures of dresses, samples of fabric, copies of your invitation, or anything at all to your consultation that might help her figure out your tastes. Leave her guessing all along.  And when she finally comes close to guessing your taste, tell her she's the fourth florist you have interviewed, and you don't think you like her "style."  She will try very hard to be nice to you as she walks you to the door, but as soon as you leave, listen for her to start slamming her head against the wall, or throw herself to the floor in a total melt-down.

6).  Have no budget to pay for your expensive tastes, and still expect that your florist will come through for you. After all, you've read all of her reviews, and past brides have said she's a "miracle worker!"  This will give her stress-induced colitis, and make her head for the medicine cabinet.

7). Insist on micro-managing every detail, like exactly what number of rose petals will go into each paper doily cone, how many gel marbles will go into each centerpiece, and how many loops will make up each aisle bow, exactly what combination and quantity of flowers will be used in every single arrangement.  This will tie her creative hands behind her back, and really make her nutty.

8).  Change the parameters, drastically, after your initial consultation. Lead her to believe you have thousands to spend on your large and complicated order, let her work hard on a quote for you, and then after the fact, tell her that you have less than $500.  Or, let her know you have a simple budget and simple needs, and then surprise her later with 40 complicated centerpieces.  Be self-righteously annoyed that her estimate went way up.  This will make her want to drink heavily.

9). Vandalize to Scandalize. After she creates picture-perfect bouquets for you, let your photographer convince you to throw them up in the air, or jump with them, to get a fun, active shot.  Then, when they break, innocently send your bridesmaids running to her to ask her to "fix" them.  Stand back and watch her reaction carefully.  Did she stifle a very shocked expression? Then, CONGRATS!  You've succeeded in scandalizing her!

10). Think of other ways to abuse the flowers early in your wedding day.  Insist on hand-tied, very thirsty flowers, and then DON'T put them in vases at all during the day.  Better yet, plan to cook them thoroughly in the hot sun hours before the wedding during your outside photos.  Then accuse her later of giving you "flowers that died."  She will really not know what to say, and just stand there, wondering if she should cry.

And a Bonus tip!

11).  Have her make a nice tossing bouquet for you.  Then don't throw it.  Throw your own gorgeous masterpiece, or your maid-of-honor's bouquet instead, because you couldn't find the toss bouquet, even though your florist told you she would place it in a vase by the guest book.  When she hears about it later, she will go bonkers -- especially if you fixate on it, accuse her of not supplying a tosser for you, tell all your friends about it, and actively try to gut her reputation online with uncharitable reviews.

*Author's note:  These tips are intended only for True Bride-Zillas.  Nice Brides will be given a list of their own in the next post.

Contributed by Puget Sound Wedding Professionals Member Julia Miller of Julia’s Floral.